THE OLD SKOOLYARD AND TEN THINGS

One - I am a teacher. I spend my working days delivering lessons in English to a bunch of bleary-eyed teenagers.

Two - My students communicate and learn much more effectively in their first language, Warlpiri, of which I know about twenty words and only a handful of basic phrases. The majority of them only understand a small percentage of what I say. It’s hard not to feel redundant, if not entirely mean.

Three - The use of indigenous language in Northern Territory schools is all but banned. I think this is tragic. Lots of people think it’s ok.

Four - My classroom has an interactive whiteboard, which is basically like a giant touch-activated computer screen. I use it a lot. It’s really cool.

Five - The kids swear a lot, sometimes in English but mainly in Warlpiri. This is one of the few advantages of having a non-Warlpiri speaking teacher. If I was them, I’d swear at me too.

Six - Most of the boys I teach are amazing dancers. They also have big big ‘shame.’ In order to get them more comfortable in expressing themselves in this way I have taken to making a fool of myself on a regular basis. This involves an array of daggy dance moves to my (or should I say our) favourite booty hits! Salt n Peppa and old-skool Michael Jackson are the two most preferred flavours. And my plan seems to be working, slowly.

Seven - Things out here are intensely gendered. Out of necessity I find myself involved in some kind of Platonic masculine bonding process. This is odd for me, but also kind of nice.

Eight - The kids have some excellent names. Some of my favourites: Valentine, Ziggy, Delilah, Sherman, Vernon, Ezekiel and Messiah. With fierce haircuts and plenty of spunk, they pull ‘em off with ease.

Nine - I have taken to playing football. I’m not as crap as I thought.

Ten - My life out here is good. It is totally void of many of the luxuries I have grown use to – alcohol, discothèques, gay people, dress-ups, theatres, shops, cafes – but I’m totally ok with that… for now.